The Google website has had Sesame Street characters decorating their website recently and I found out that it is because of Sesame Street's 40th anniversary. I enjoyed watching Sesame Street when I was a kid, but probably not for any of the reasons being celebrated. I didnt really like any of the corny drama that usually included a puppet character and the extremely bland human characters. (Though learning sign language from I think her name was Linda was kewl). Even worse were the segments that included a special guest star who couldnt act for shit. They were often past their prime musicians trying to be charitable which is fine and dandy and all, but a nine year old doesnt give a fuck that you played for a band 15 years ago, they want to be entertained, and right now!

What I really remember enjoying were the short segments between the puppet drama. These segments were very creative and varied. Cartoons, short films, and musical numbers with a touch of 70s nostalgic flair kept me highly entertained. There was a particular segment that I really took a shine to. If I remember right it was essentially an extremely elaborate contraption with all sorts of fancy tracks that metallic balls rolled along. The camera went along the track following balls while a song tried to teach basic addition. Yes, I watched an hour long learning program with puppets that annoyed me so I could watch a three minute segment showing balls roll around. 

It kept me entertained however (for at least a few minutes a day) so heres to hoping it will be around for another 40 years. 

Its been a long time since I have posted anything. Haven't had much to bitch about for awhile I suppose...

Today I saw a news blurb mentioning how the movie Avatar has costed 500 million dollars to make. I had never heard of it before but figured I would give it a look see as it is Sci-fi and directed by James Cameron.

I went to You Tube and watched the trailer and I must say I have not been so unimpressed by a big budget sci fi movie of this type in a long time.

While its visuals might pass for impressive in an anime flick, how am I supposed to be impressed by cartoonlike creatures and CGI that is so glaringly obvious it might as well be hand drawn? What in the world did they spend their money on?

Am I being to harsh? You be the judge.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9ceBgWV8io

Learned a new song from my guitar book this weekend. It has been stuck in my head ever since.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyWKXWRe6XQ

Today I returned home from work to discover my stairs into my apartment were gone. Apparently they are replacing the landing or something. With no way into my apartment I had to sweet talk a repairman to let me use his ladder to climb up into my dwelling.

What really bothered me  was upon letting me enter my home he asked if I would be coming back out again and with confidence I quickly said no. Does that say something about me when I can assuredly say I will not be leaving my apartment the entire day?

Fursplosion made their first public appearance last week in the town of Waldport OR, but their producer was very disappointed in their performance. After only a short period she noticed that her vision and the artists did not match her expectations. When asked for further comment during her pilates butt ball exercises Producer H.C. stated that "the band sounded evil".

Will this delay the release of the as yet un-named album due to come out later this year? Our sources could not say, but this does strengthen the rumor that the lead guitarist known only as "The Bruce" might have been wanting to call the album "Evil Sounding Bacon".

This weather sucks.

Yesterday I left the cozy confines of my tiny bubble and went to get a beverage at Wendys. I wasnt the only one there seeking refuge from the heat as it was rather crowded. All sorts of annoying personality traits and strange people were in there. Mrs Very Large/Very Small Clothes was there. Two groups of families/friends come in together, order together, and get their food together, but then decide to sit apart from one another in the dining room. Normally that wouldnt be too exciting except for the fact that the two groups were still having conversations with one another across the freakin room (not to mention the one talkin the most had a Porky Piggish stutter).

Quite annoying.

I am not sure where I was going with this. I guess I am just pissy because of this weather.

Did I mention it sucks?

This holiday season no one is safe!



Feel The Fursplosion

Featuring the hit songs Potato Plateau, He Broke My Lamp, and Bacon Wrapped!

Visiting the WINCO grocery store is always an adventure. Because I can only carry a couple bags home at a time i tend to have to visit the store more often than the average joe. This means I tend to encounter some of those wierdos in the store more often than I should.

The Entitled - This type of customer will stroll along as if the grocery store opened just for them. They will block entire isles by standing in the middle of the isles often turning their carts perpendicular to the normal flow of traffic for their own convenience. Doesnt matter if there are others in the isle. Your ability to shop must now wait as this customer parks his cart to look at the Fig Newtons. God forbid you excuse yourself to try and get by. You will get a sinister glare from this customer that looks as through you had just taken his cookies away from him.

The Zookeeper- This customer brings in a gaggle of children who behave as if they have been raised in the wilderness by baboons. Their spawn hang from the sides of their parents carts or are dragged behind the cart on their little roller-shoes. More of their children run around screaming and yelling their wants and needs, then throw tantrums because they can not get what they want. All the while the zookeeper barks orders to his pets telling them to fill the cart with the frozen burritos that caught his eye.

The Paranoid- As you walk by these customers they quickly avert their eyes and huddle as close to the product as possible. Always keeping you in their peripherals they quickly put their items into the cart trying to shield their shopping choices from you. Apparently letting someone know you drink 1% milk is a lot more of an intimate decision than I thought it was.

The Service Seeker- This one is pretty specific to me but it seems to happen more often then I would like. As I usually shop in my Best Buy blues after work I seem to get customers who think I am an employee and are dead set on me helping them find something. As I usually shop with my headphones on they often have to start screaming at me to get my attention. When I tell them I do not work there they always have this look upon their face that says "Well thats no excuse. Show me to where they keep the pigs feet!"

The Decision Maker- Ever needed to rush in and grab an item real quick from a grocery store? Than no doubt this customer was probably standing in front of your intended purchase. They will mill about an item forever. Looking up and down at their choices and inspecting each package as if they are about to buy the last hot dogs they will ever be able to buy ever again.

I heard the music from the zerg mission briefings sampled in a song I was listening to the other day.  It brought up some great memories of my time playing the Zerg in Starcraft. I really loved the zerg music and I could listen to the overlord give me orders all day.

Here is a link to the Zerg briefings. Listen from 00:35 to 1:35 with some extreme volume and bass for some sensory delight.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vhr7sxE_5Ik

I had a strange revelation the other day. I was watching a "making of" documentary of some movie and they showed the composer doing the music. As I watched this it really hit me just how difficult it must be to write a composition. This isnt a collaboration of like minded musicians working together to refine a concept. This is one man taking an idea on paper and turning it into a theme, opera, or score to be expressed through different musical artists. Each instrument must have its own notes, tones, and rhythms and they must work together to form a cohesive vision. Maybe it is easier once you have established a familiarity with orchestral music, but it sure seems like an insurmountable task for me.

The composer standing up there waving his wand has been the butt of many jokes but I shall laugh no longer. While I may not understand the necessity of you waving your baton, I now respect the fact that your skills earn you the ability to do whatever the hell you damn well please.

Some Photos from my beach journey. Maybe I will give you a story or two if you are good today sweetheart!

Christmas In June! Notice the year old beef log, yeah baby!


Playing on the Waldport bridge


A parking lot monument


A shitty arch


Mmmm...Detritus!


Rawr!

While I was waiting for my prescription to be filled today I headed to the dollar store to pass some time. In my infinite wisdom I decided to pick up a faux-cologne. Its only a dollar, and even if its really weak or not quite the same it is still a better bargain than the 50+ dollars for the real thing right? Right?

I get it home and open the cap where it then proceeds to spill all over my arm. I quickly find that it smells absolutely nothing like what it is supposed to. The most comparable smell I can think of is the dollar store itself. The aroma of different types of cheap ass incense with a mix of cleaning supplies and a splash of Aqua Velva (which I sadly already have a bottle of). As I am typing this my arm is starting to burn where it made contact.

Any one want a bottle of Eau de Dollar Store?

I am continuing to have difficulty mastering basic open chords on the guitar. Admittedly I am not exactly putting full time hours into it, but I don't know a lot to keep me interested for long. Moving in between the same two chords over and over again tends to get dull rather quick. As I ask other players for hints or help I have found out that everyone does it their own way. Using different fingers, using different strings, different sounds, different moves. There are multiple chords I have had to relearn because I found that the way I was initially taught made transitions too difficult or was totally incorrect. Let me tell you, learning how to move back and forth between a chord isnt exactly easy, unlearning what you have already learned makes practice horrible.

I did finally learn an easy song I know that uses a lot of the open chords which has helped me learn tremendously. I am slowly working my way into bar chords which were hellacious on my hand during my first few attempts. I still cant play them for crap, but at least now I can get a few changes that actually sound like they are supposed to before my hand starts yelling at me.

Next week I am heading out to the coast to visit my parents. It will be interesting to see how quickly annoyed they get with my new hobby as I play out of key over and over again.

After a month hiding from the addiction that is WoW I have decided to return to at least reactivate my internet access. 

I missed reading about my friends adventures on Livejournal (even though my friends are rarely seen behind the constant barrage of dog photos). Facebook continues to baffle me, particularly now that I have a few friends on my list, it seems like theres thirty million variables and I can not keep up. I also wanted to revisit some Guitar Lesson sites to learn new tricks and help me to learn how to play a guitar. Finally with the digital transition I can longer waste time wasting brain cells watching the People's Court when I am bored. Now I shall waste my brain cells on the intarweb.

Speaking of TV I actually rediscovered a song I liked watching a TV commercial. It was the music for some commercial for a Lincoln thingy (WTF do I know about cars?) called Major Tom. It was originally an early 80s hit by Peter Schilling but this version is done by a different artist. I think I prefer the music from the eighties version, but I think the female singer from the new version sounds better (probably because Peter Schilling doesnt sing very well in english).

These last few weeks at the ole homestead it has felt relatively at peace and it finally dawned on me as to why. For the past few weeks they have been working on the decks on all the nearby courtyard apartments. As these decks were being worked upon there were big sheets of ply wood nailed over the apartment doors to prevent any accidents. This also prevented a majority of this apartment complexes nastiest disturbers of the peace from sitting on their porch and disturbing me.

The Iron Lung- The dirty old man who does nothing but smoke and cough for 14 hours of each day. He places all his butts in a nearby coffee can which the nearby children love to kick over once he retires from his smoking binge for the night. Ill try my best to describe this so you can picture this. A small apartment porch. A black carpet of cigarette butts and ash cover what used to be cement. An old piece of lawn furniture turned an odd shade of grey from the carcinogenic toxins it is always covered in. A skeletal old man wearing vintage clothing in shades of brown. As he sits in his chair turning his lungs as black as the concrete below him he does nothing but watch his fellow courtyard dwellers in silence. This silence will often go on for quite awhile till it is broken by a non stop barrage of hacking and sputtering as his body feebly tries to fight against the toxins that course through his veins. Its a lovely image isnt it? Yeah, it was nice not being influenced by his creepy factor last week.

The Stereotypical Angry Couple- The angry couple who are always yelling at each other at the top of his lungs.  "Why are you always nagging me? I cant take it anymore! Shut your god damned mouth! I am leaving!"  What I think is interesting is that our society has almost legitimized this sort of behavior in that society is constantly using the joke that marriage is torture.  Well you know what? The jokes on you assholes. Your pain doesnt stem from marriage. It stems from the fact you and your obviously incompatible spouse were dumb enough to get married without knowing each other in the first place. Why do so many people put themselves through this madness?  I felt much better not hearing them.

The Not So Overprotective Long Distance Matron- This woman almost always dwells upon a second story balcony in the courtyard. When she is not blabbering with someone on the phone she is constantly yelling at her young Skyler. From her perch she is always throwing out some new parenting nugget at the top of her voice. Skyler gets all this long distance parenting, but it is not good parenting. For instance. Skyler was riding down the sidewalk on a scooter.  He cannot see where he is going because he is talking to the rider behind him. Of course Skyler then runs into a young child. The young child is on the ground screaming, Skyler is doing his best to console the child, when his mother chimes in. " Skyler! Skyler! Skyler! Dont get your new shoes dirty!" I sure did not miss them.

Silence sure is golden.

As I visited a few online sites to learn how to play guitar I quickly realized that Music Theory is not taught for SHIIIT.  Half the lessons assume you already know how to read and understand music, while the other half curse Music Theory like it is some forbidden verse spoken by a fallen betrayer.

I know nada about music so I wouldnt know if a chord or octave bit me in the ass. Every time I read about a new term or symbol I have to go hunting the internet just to find out the WTF they are talking about. I have no desire to 100% rely on some half ass tab system that is only used by half the teachers and with which I can already find fault with only 5 days into my training.

For fucks sake didnt they used to teach Music Theory to grade schoolers? Not our generation of course, but back in the day. I suppose the land of budget cuts had no need for the arts.

Rawr

Anyways, my friends at work told me to try this Facebook thing.  I thought I already tried this in the past but I guess that was My Space. I shall try that tonight as I stew over the treble clef sitting in front of me.

Lately I have been having to spend a lot of time working around our musical instruments. I can safely say I do not squat about them, but all my recent exposure inspired me to attempt to play an instrument again. My uncle Errol was very generous and gave me his old guitar a few years back. He gave it to me in the hopes I might learn to play after he saw how fascinated I was with his ability to play an instrument (I must say when it comes to aunts and uncles mine rate at the top on the cool o meter). 

After recieving his gift I didnt really do much with it. I didnt really know where to start, didnt have any one to learn from, and it doesnt help that I have an extreme shortage of rhythm. I tried playing for a bit, but broke a string trying to tune the guitar. Since I didnt have anybody to explain the intricacies or basics of the instrument I became afraid everytime I touched the strings that it would break. It wasnt long after that before it found a home in the closet.

Now that I have access to our handy dandy Musical Instrument department I have folks to answer questions and learn new tricks from (And since they are on the clock, they must help me! Mwa ha ha!). As an added bonus, apparently as an employee I am entitled to one free lesson a week. I havent gone in for lessons just yet as I wanted to get a few basics under my belt before I go making a fool of myself in front of my coworkers.

This last week I have been watching lots of TV and doing finger exercises. My hands still have a loong way to go but I can proudly say I have callouses on the ends of my fingers from my efforts. I had learned a couple chords but nothing that resembled music. Today I went to a website and learned the basics of how to play Americas "Horse With No Name" (supposedly the easiest song ever). While it doesnt seem incredibly easy to me I have been practicing the song and am going to aim at being able to play the song confidently by the end of the month.

I shall persevere! I shall conquer! I shall rise!

Thursday night I went to an Intel sponsored vendor viewing of the new Star Trek film. 

Intel has a special dealy where people who work from certain vendors can visit an Intel website, learn about new product and get some free goodies in the process. Goodies like discount prices on new product, free give a ways and occasional free film viewings. You watch  a litttle 5 minute presentation on their website, take a quiz on what you learned, and if you pass you get registered for the film screening. When we arrived, we signed in and were given a goodie bag of random silly stuff that included a 10$ gift certificate to use at the concession stand. We had to sit down and watch an Intel/HP promo movie for about 20 minutes, then they did a raffle and gave away about 5 or 6 computers (No phat lootz for me). At midnight the film started.

Star Trek was pretty good. I did not actually think I would like the movie. After hearing about so many rehashed pointless remakes lately I had assumed Star Trek would be bad. I never read anything about the movie and never saw any trailers/previews of much length so it mostly slipped under my radar. The idea of of a free movie night with a bunch of nerds sounded fun though, so I risked going to see it.

It was worth it. It did not feel like a normal Star Trek movie. You know that feeling that of watching a glorified TV episode? This movie felt like a genuine attempt. It pretty much put the Star Trek universe we know and put it into a summer action movie format. Lots of explosions, humor, and action pushed it along at a good pace. The enterprise inner workings were really jazzed up. Everything was extremely bright and shiny, and there were computers everywhere. It might have seemed out of place for Star Trek, but they also went back to the old school series uniforms. When you see the girls in mini skirts and the guys in tight shirts its hard to forget what ship you are on.

They did a very good job with the characters. Its in this aspect, that the movie really shines. Spocks character in particular is very focused on and it really showed a side to the character that I had not felt before. Bones was spot on like the TV series. Looks and attitude wise. Kirk did his own thing (thank god he didnt do a Shatner impression) and it turned out good. Scotty was certainly very memorable.

It is not perfect though. It is marred by some pretty significant scenes and characters. Mr Villain is pretty worthless and doesnt do much other than set things in motion. I did not like Chekov in the original series and I do not like him now. Once again they went with an actor pretending to be russian. I am sorry but there is only so many times you can do "Nuclear Wessel" jokes. Trying to do the summer action thing they added some wire fu jumps and moves that seemed out of place. There is also a scene where rebellious young Kirk is driving a stolen car that is really bad. Yeah, Beastie Boys and Star Trek do not mix.

If you are interested in seeing it do not believe any of this perfect film nonsense. It is rough around the edges, but it is a fun movie overall(god forbid a movie makes it to the FUN level in my book now a days) especially if you enjoyed the characters from the original series.

It is no secret that I believe the American public is a bunch of naive fools, but this Swine Flu "epidemic" is unbelievable. Schools are closing in Oregon because a student showed flu like symptoms? People are starting to wear surgical masks in public?

More people died from the regular flu last month than have ever died from the swine flu.

Oh noes! I could die! I am going to go pick up some breathing masks and maybe an energy drink.

Sigh


"Some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will cuz
I sure could use a vacation from this silly shit.

One great big festering neon distraction,
I've a suggestion to keep you all occupied.

Learn to swim.

Mum's gonna fix it all soon.
Mum's comin' round to put it back the way it ought to be."